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CONTACT
US
Dear
Surflet,
I
am delighted to say that I work as the Creative Director
for MilngavieOnline.com. I was raised in Edinburgh by
Herbert and Ethel, a pair of overbearing, neurotic tyrants.
I was groomed to be a Banana Farmer (like my father).
When my parents were away from home (rarely), I would
disappear into the attic and joyously practice web designing
for hours on end.
Only
then could I set my heart free and allow my mind to
soar like a Himilayan butterfly. But I would never share
my work with my parents, as they forbade me to pursue
anything computeristic. They claimed technology was
the work of "Satan, the dark lord." So I would
work on a web page, admire it sadly for a few minutes,
then quickly delete it. Such was my lot in life.
Mum
and Dad insisted that I work towards becoming a Banana
Farmer. I relented and dutifully attended Edinburgh
Agricultural College, where I (unhappily) studied a
degree in Banana Studies. On graduation day (July 2000)
I spoke to the senior class as Head of Year. In the
middle of my speech - it was written by my Dad - I experienced
a divine intervention.
The
years of abuse from my parents suddenly reached a critical
point, and I decided to make a break from them in front
of 500 startled onlookers. I cleared my throat in mid-speech,
adjusting the microphone, and loudly uttered the words
that would change my life forever: "Mum, Dad....go
f*#k yourselves!!!". I then calmly strode to the
Bus Station in my cap and gown, boarded a bus (at random),
and ended up in Milngavie.
Well
it's 9 months later, and I am happily working at MilngavieOnline.com.
My parents are now a distant, pathetic memory. And I've
begun web designing again, my friends! I've done over
20 websites in recent months, and Molly thinks I've
become quite good. Now I want to show my bastard father
that I was born to be a web designer, damn it!
Cedric
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